Visitors from NZ

The ‘intimacy-desire paradox’

We read here

"That which we desire most in a relationship (read: security and comfort) rarely coexists with that which keeps us attracted to a partner (read: passion and sexual intimacy).

It’s a frustrating contradiction some sex therapists refer to as the ‘intimacy-desire paradox’. In short, this hypothesis proposes the more comfortable we are with someone, the more our sexual desire for them is likely to decline.

Which makes sense, given desire is essentially the result of wanting something we don’t already possess"

I have certainly experienced that in some of my relationships. I have got on so well with my partner that she seems like a sister to me. And there is a big taboo -- of probably biological origin -- which says you don't have sex with your sister. It is in fact the crime of incest. So my sex life rather petered out on those occasions, I am sorry to say

Bob Katter: A Lebanese Aborigine?

Bob is very popular in Far North Queensland -- where I also come from.  All four of my grandparents were  born up that way, as I was. In my memory, the Far North was a very conservative place.  Views that today identify me as very conservative were simply normal during my early life in North Queensland.   It is my "spiritual" home.

It is over 30 years since I spent much time back up there, though I did have a couple of holidays there, with the last such being in 2004.  So I have often wondered if my old home is still as conservative as it was.  My impression is that not much has changed

And Bob's great popularity up that way confirms it.  He too is very consrervative. So I am rather pleased with his views and what he does. As a member of Federal parliament he represents the North well

But I don't like his claim to be Aboriginal. He bases that claim on once having been "adopted" into an Aboriginal tribe.  And under current Australian law, if he "identifies" as an Aborigine, he IS an Aborigine.  I am critical of that rule in general so I deplore Bob using it for political advantage.

In fact he is, if anything, Lebanese, though he fiercely denies it.  He grew up in a clothing shop run by his Lebanese grandfather.  It is a curiosity of North Queensland that there are or were in many towns a men's clothing shop run by Lebanese immigrants -- with surnames like Mellick and Malouf.  I remember them well.

The surname Katter is most common among Americans of German origin.  In German, a "Kater" is a tomcat

Bob Katter has declared his people made a 'big mistake' 250 years ago by letting in whitefellas, and that's why Australia should keep borders shut to asylum seekers ahead of Saturday's federal election as he prepares for his 10th win.

A surprising little-known fact about the controversial Queensland MP is that he identifies as Aboriginal, but Mr Katter recently spoke candidly about the subject during a TV appearance when addressing foreign policy and the plight of refugees.

'I come from Cloncurry, and I'm dark - I'm one of the Curry mob, you know?' Mr Katter said on ABC's Q&A.

'We made a hell of a bad mistake 150 years ago, letting you whitefellas in. I don't know that we should make the same mistake again.'

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10823217/Bob-Katter-says-Aboriginal-people-big-mistake-letting-whitefellas-ABC-Q-QLD-Kennedy.html

Necklaces

I have been shopping again

Below is Pam wearing a necklace I bought for her. She chose herself it so is very pleased with it. Pam is Jenny's bestie, recently released from the prison island across the Tasman

I also bought Zoe a string of pearls.  It is a small one as she likes small jewelery

Update: Zoe really liked the pearls. She said it was something that she had wanted. So here is another pic of her as she arrived this afternoon, looking pretty as usual. I really like the way she dresses.

I liked the matching shoes and jumper

Breaking my rib on 18 April greatly restricted what I can do. So it has affected our relationship quite a bit. She has remained affectionate and understanding but I have been unable to cuddle her, which we have both greatly missed. I am slowly healing however so today was the first day after 4 weeks that we were able to cuddle. Most pleasing

Mothers' day

My mother is long ago deceased so I really have no-one to celebrate on the day.  I suppose I could get together with my siblings and have some sort of occasion to honour our mother but we have never done so.  I didn't like my mother very much anyway. But de mortuis nihil nisi bonum forbids me to expand on that.

What I have done on some past occasions is meet with family members who are mothers and have a nice lunch.  Most of the family concerned are overseas these days however so that was not on.

Zoe solved the problem for me today.  She said that she acts like my mother so I should shout her a lunch in honour of that.  So I did.  I took her to the Burmese at Stone's corner, where I regularly have the roast duck.  It was as good as ever today.

My fitness has undergone a fair bit of improvement recently as my broken bones slowly heal.  My foot seems to be completely healed and my ribs don't bother me if I move carefully.  One memorable thing in that department today was after we got home:  I sat Zoe on my knee.  It's decades since I have done that with a woman but Zoe is only 55kg so that made it possible.  It was a good experience. She makes a good playmate, among other things

Gifts

As the Apostle Paul said:  It is more blessed to give than to receive.  I have always believed that.  And because of some good decisions in my earlier life, I accumulated substantial financial assets.  And I have even managed to hang on to the assets so far. Making money is one thing but hanging onto it is another. A lot of people make big money but then go on to lose it.  

So I am in a position to give gifts to people in my orbit.  Most of my gifts have been quite small but some have been quite large. I have even given cars on some occasions.

One thing I have often done is give small items of costume jewellery to Anne.  I have put up pictures on this blog of some of the items concerned. I seem to have a good handle on her taste so I often buy the items before she sees them and they mostly seem to go down well.

Since early this year I have had a girlfriend in the person of Zoe so I have started to give her things too.  Below is a bracelet I recently bought her.  She was with me when I bought it and it was something she herself selected.  I thought it was particularly pretty so give a picture of it below

Anne has not been forgotten however.  Below is a bracelet I bought her just this morning.  She has not seen it yet.  I think it is rather striking

Today is also a red-letter day. Today I left my surgical "moon boot" at home. My broken ankle now seems to be fully healed. I am still walking around very cautiously however -- still using a walking stick