Wonders can happen

When at the beginning of this year Anne cut short her times with me in order to spend more time with G.., I did of course feel the need to acquire a new female friend to spend time with.  Given my state of advanced decay, however, that was never going to be easy and it wasn't.  I spoke to and met many ladies who were rightly put off by my geriatric state.

A couple of months ago however I met JD, whom I have already mentioned a few times on this blog.  She too pinged me off at first but I could see great potential for a friendship with her so kept in touch and she has never been quite able to let me go.  We have been having some good Saturday night dinners for some time. And we  have got steadily closer as dinner followed dinner.  We have a lot in common in our thinking.  

So last night (Saturday) we had another good dinner together at a local restaurant, followed by dessert at my place, which  was as pleasant as usual.  But this time there was a sequel

Next day (this morning) she turned up to meet me for breakfast as well.  Dinner only with me was not enough this week. And after breakfast we did a Sunday drive to Wynnum.  So I now seem to have a definite new friend, which pleases me greatly. We do have lots of laughs while we are together

She is rather good looking, blonde and substantially younger than me so you see why I think wonders can happen

EPILOGUE of 5 November:  She had a minor disaster in her personal life shortly after the time mentioned above and has as a result pinged me off for the fourth time.  And there has so far been no going back

A really bad weekend

On Friday I had lump on my ear cut out by an old-fashioned plastic surgeon.  That night the excision bled and I woke up (Sat.) with blood everywhere.  Fortunately, Anne was on hand and helped me until I could get to a doctor. He bound it up tightly and stopped the bleeding. Anne and I had a Muzza's curry pie afterward as a late breakfast.  

I slept last night (Sun.) with no bleeding

Then this morning (Sun.) I woke up with a sniffle.  I had brekky at the pie shop  with Joe that went well.  We talked mainly about world politics.  But after I got home I chucked my brekky.  I have slept for most of the rest of the day so  believe I may have slept it off.  Anne had something similar during the week and got over it quickly.

I had to cancel my date with JD tonight but we have rescheduled that

They're back

Getting pinged off by ladies has happened to me a lot in my life so I have a way of dealing with that: I remain friendly and in contact.  And that worked again. Both JD and JH are back in my life. 

I had a particularly nice time with JD at my place tonight.  She brought over champagne and some excellent pizza and drank rather a lot of the champagne.  We mostly talked about relationships.  We have both had a few

And I now have a dinner date with JH for next week. We will see how that goes

UPDATE:  JH cancelled so I will try no more with her

An auspicious day

In the one day today both JH and JD have dumped me. They leave me with some pleasant memories. As is my custom , I have left my door open

Epilogue

My heading above was of course ironical. Auspicious means expecting a good future. And losing two ladies in one day is distinctly careless.

But the heading has turned out to be more accurate than I intended. I received that same night some news that could be very beneficial to me. I went to bed in a distinctly cheerful frame of mind

A NORTH Vietnamese experience

JD and I normally dine together on Saturday evenings.  Last Saturday, however, she was away for the long weekend ending on Monday.  She obviously missed our Saturday, however, as she texted me on Tuesday morning (6th), asking if we could have breakfast together.  I got the text a bit late for that so I took her to the "Buncha Buncha" North Vietnamese restaurant at Stone's corner that night.    Their cuisine is different from the normal South Vietnamese cuisine that we all now know so well

Nem Hanoi

I had the smoked pork dish and JD had a sort of chicken rissoles. Both were good.  But the remarkable feature of the menu was the crumbed rolls mainly containing seafood: The nem Hanoi.  They were very substantial and very tasty.  I took some home and they were still excellent the next day.  Quite different from any other rolls

On the way home, we picked up a dessert from Aldi-- Mango sorbet.  We took it back to my place.  First we had a cup of tea then the dessert.  After that we watched part of an operetta on DVD.  We were both a bit tired before we had watched much of the operetta so called it a night at that stage:  a very pleasant night

Still celebrating

Anne and I have just celebrated again the revival of our Friday/Saturday arrangements.

On Friday night we had a candlelit dinner with champagne, pate  canapes and some authentic cevapi from Adams deli at Carole park for mains.  They were as good as expected.

Then we watched the operetta Der Vogelhändler on DVD until 11pm.  We held hands for most of it so my new sofa has proven its worth!

On Saturday morning, I did not -- unlike her marvelous partner -- give Anne breakfast in bed but we went to the Gold Leaf for a cooked breakfast, which we always enjoy.  It is one of the few places where Anne approves of the coffee, which she noted again this time. She had a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich and I had a Canadian breakfast,

After that we did our usual trip to Vinnies where I bought her a Jade necklace and a straw hat that looked very stylish on her.  We finished with a cuppa at 10:30 so she could get a start on preparing for a family lunch. It all left me with a happy glow.

A lovely lady I know

Just a friend -- somewhat to my regret

A pleasant surprise

I spent yesterday with JH, whom I first met only 10 days ago. We had corresponded before that though, and talked on the phone. And we seemed to want the same things in life. In particular, I wanted a wife and she seemed interested in being one

So when I visited her at her place for the first time today, I was pretty sure of a good reception. As it was, she slapped a big lover's kiss on me even before I had got through the doorway. The rest you can imagine. She was also wearing a shift, a garment you just lift off over your head to leave nothing but woman underneath.

She is of Indian heritage but was born in KL in Malaysia, where there is still a strong British influence, so she speaks good English with a slight Indian accent.  I have always liked India and Indians and have in fact been to India three times.  I have usually had some Indian tenants and understood their way of thinking.  

JH has however been in Australia for 35 years and was married to a big Australian bloke, an engineer by trade. But she became a widow about a year ago.  She describes her marriage as incredibly happy.

And that bears on what I said about a wife.  She wants to be a   wife again.  She knows it as a blessed state. Feminists eat your heart out!  And my marriages have been very happy too -- all four of them.  So I too want a wife again -- or something similar. So JH and I want the same things.  Hopefully  can give them to one-another. 

JH is 62 and in good shape for her age, which I surmise to be in part an effect of her very lively and active nature. She is 5'5" and nestles very nicely into my arms

Is she a conniving woman scheming to rip me off?  She cannot be. I give money to all sorts of people so I will undoubtedly give some to her -- but not enough to be inconvenient. So what is freely given in full knowledge of the dangers cannot be a rip-off

An excellent half-weekend

A half weekend might seem a bit odd to celebrate but Friday night and Saturday morning just gone were something special.  They were the first instance of my revived meeting arrangements with Anne. Anne has always in the past slept Friday night in my guest room to make a Saturday breakfast convenient and that has now been revived.  Anne now has G.. living with her so it is only friendly arrangements that have been revived but my arrangements with Anne have in fact been just friendly ones for a long time.  But they have been and are very good for all that.

And the revival was very good indeed.  We both have a keen sense of the ridiculous and I was in an exceptionally good mood so it was almost a laugh a minute while we were together.

On Friday evening, I tried to take her to a Persian place that we both regard as special for dinner but they were booked out.  I had neglected to book because I thought all the coronavirus restrictions would have left them substantially empty. At 7pm, however, the place looked in fact to be busier than ever.  So we went over the road to a good Indian restaurant we both know and "well we weren esed atte beste", to burst into Middle English.  I ordered a Vindaloo which was surprisingly mild.

On Saturday morning we went to our old favourite breakfast place at Buranda.  Anne had the cheesesteak sandwich and I had a Deluxe sandwich of my own devising. Both were very satisfactory.

After breakfast we did a tour of the nearby Vinnies and I picked up a cute little milk jug. I have a weakness for jugs!  Anne went home at about 12 noon.

EPILOGUE

My date for Saturday night was the good-looking JD, a smart lady whom I have met only recently. She said she had been celebrating her 64th birthday with her family all the week so needed a special dinner on Saturday night.  So I took her to the Persian restaurant, which always impresses. I booked this time.  I haven't been there recently so I was amused to see that the slim lady with the large bust was still running the show there.  She is quite a sight.

As I usually do, I ordered the the platter for two, which is actually two large platters plus a smaller platter, all three  covered with enticing food.  JD was suitably impressed. 

I had intended to bring a bottle of champagne but forgot.  So JD offered to walk down to the nearby drive-through to pick up a bottle. I gave her a $20 for the purpose.  She asked me what I wanted and I said: "Just some cheap champagne".  She was quite tickled by that.  She kept repeating "cheap champagne"!  She knows I am well-off so was surprised that I would drink such a thing. I just smiled.  Anyway she came back with a rather impressive-looking $30 bottle of French champagne.  French wine has got a lot cheaper in recent years. She said "I don't do cheap champagne".  She is the ex-wife of a well-off professional man so is probably a bit spoilt.  What she bought was a reasonable drop.

I have only one glass of wine with dinner these days and she was driving so also drank little -- so a good half of the bottle was left. So we took it back to my place,  where I stoppered it for later.

I had a glass of it as a nightcap when I went to bed and restoppered the remainder.  So when I woke up mext morning I felt rather decadent (in a good way) to see a stoppered bottle of champagne sitting on my bedroom table  It suggested a wilder night than I actually had.

A remarkable weekend

My memory is a shocker so I want to get this down while I can.

Last Friday while I was at breakfast at my usual haunt, Vera walked in.  Vera is the widow of an old friend of mine so we have known one-another for many years. And people who know me know when and where I am to be found at breakfast.  So we had good chats over breakfast, partly about her Russian background.  When I got up to leave I offered her a small kiss, which she accepted

Then that evening Anne came over for dinner at home which went its usual exceptionally pleasant way.  We had chicken schnitzel for dinner, which is one of my favourites. She announced that it is now definitely agreed that from now on she would be staying the night on Fridays, which was VERY good news.

On Saturday I had a 12 noon lunch with JH, an Indian lady from KL in Malysia. So she spoke good English. We went to a Malaysian restaurant which had very good Malaysian food. We discussed lots of things, including the fact that we are both basically homebodies --  with little interest in outings or travel -- unusual among people in later life.  

For the occasion I abandoned my usual very casual attire and turned up in black leather shoes, long charcoal grey pants, a striped shirt and a Panama hat.  I am pretty decrepit these days but at one point Jess said I was looking good -- rather to my astonishment. I said "It's just the hat" but she demurred.  Ladies do tend to like Panama hats on men. Anyway we will be seeing one another again soon

Then on Sunday I had a breakfast at my usual haunt with JD. She picked me up from home in her large and impressive Toyota Camry hybrid. She is in her mid-60s but unusually good-looking for her age. We got on famously. Our breakfast lasted 3 hours, the latter half of which we spent back at my place!  We discussed a remarkable range of things, including some quite intimate details of our pasts. We will be meeting again but at a time to be decided.

And then on Monday I had my usual Nando's dinner with Jenny.  And despite our having known one another for over 30 years, we still had plenty to talk about

So with that record, people of my vintage would undoubtedly describe me as "a bit of a lad".  In fact, however, I would rather be married again.

Why I am about to buy a Toyota Prado

Anne and I met in late 2005 and we have had and continue to have a warm and happy relationship since then -- for 15 years now.

But it was never an orthodox relationship.  There are some things Anne needs in her life -- such as outings and travel -- that I wanted little or nothing to do with.  While I am a homebody content to spend most of my day in front of my computer, life for Anne would be insufferingly boring without outings and travel.  Travel ambitions are just about universal among older ladies. But I did all my travels in my 30s so have no such ambitions now.

So from early on Anne and I reached a compromise that we were both happy with. We arranged to have only two nights a week together.  I would spend other nights on my computer and I told Anne that what she did on those other nights was no business of mine. No questions asked and no details offered. 

And on those other nights she was welcome to find other friends -- some of whom would be of the male persuasion -- to help fulfil needs I was unwilling or unable to fulfil.  And that worked very well for both of us for a long time.  

It was however an obviously  high-risk arrangement and there was a small rupture about 3 years ago when Anne fell in love with a soulful man from Southern Europe, Mr Wonderful, which reduced our time together.  But she had him move in with her -- and found that Mr Wonderful was in fact Mr Pain-in-the-bum. So she came screaming back to me after 3 weeks and nothing more was heard of Mr Wonderful after that. Our old arrangements were restored.

I thought that after that experience a lady in her 70s with poor health would not be wandering again.  But she still had her old needs so wander she did -- six months ago.  And this time it was big-time. She met G.., who was a much better deal than I am.  He is around her age but is fit, energetic and good-looking.  And he is a real gentleman, more than I will ever be -- and is very obliging to her. He adjusts his life to her life -- a real dream. The only odd thing about him is that he is a lifelong Seventh Day Adventist.  By trade he is a plumber -- now retired.

But Anne and I both see our friendship as unique and Anne did not want to lose it.  So despite the arrival of G.., Anne insisted from the outset of her relationship with him that she would continue to see me -- for one night a week.  And she has done exactly that.  G.. was initially dubious about that idea but he has now become at ease with it.  And I of course became  free to find another lady to give me more companionship  -- which has been interesting.

I was of course depressed to become suddenly second priority in Anne's life but with the help of friends and family got over that.  I particularly missed one aspect of my friendship with Anne -- we used to have Friday nights together and Anne would sleep over at my place so we could share a first-class Saturday breakfast at a cafe we like.  G.. did not like the thought of that at all. So the sleepovers became out of bounds for the last six months.  But I have just got back that time with Anne.

Anne was thinking about buying a caravan so she could fulfil a long-held wish of travelling around Australia. But after two divorces, G.. is poor so he owns only a light and elderly van -- nothing capable of pulling a caravan.. And Anne's car is a Toyota Corolla -- also no towing engine

But I would like Anne to have her trip up the Queensland coast and G.. would be a much better travel companion than I would ever be. So, in my generosity, I had the idea of solving their problem by buying and lending to them a vehicle suitable for pulling a caravan. But that would be a very expensive gift so, in the usual manner of these things, I hoped for a small gift in return. I suggested the restoration of my Friday/Saturdays with Anne. Anne has herself always wanted that and G.. has now agreed to it. So, courtesy of an exchange of gifts, my old arrangements with Anne have not been totally restored but a part of them that I greatly value has been

And throughout my adult life I have always owned two vehicles. For a lot of the last ten years I in fact owned three!  But, for not much more than a month, I have been down to only one -- my trusty 16-year-old Toyota Echo.  So buying a Prado will be something of restoration of the status quo ante bellum.  When it is not being used to tow a caravan, it will be available to visiting friends and family from out of town, as my second car always has been.  

Additionally, it should be some help in my meetings with single ladies.  They generally drive much fancier cars than my little old Echo and presumably look down on it.  The Prado, by contrast, is well appointed so I will presumably gain some respectability by driving it. It costs $60,000+ so that should look good as a sign of economic competence

A surprising week

On Wednesday night I was scheduled to have lunch with P... She is an ABC (Australian-born Chinese) so spoke excellent English and was very keen on classical music.  I had met her only once before for morning tea. On the morning for our lunch she contacted me to tell me that some work had come up that was going to keep her very busy for a few days so she could not do lunch.  I have not heard from her again.

On Thursday I was set for dinner with a lady whom I had not previously met.  She has a Dutch surname so I thought she might be Dutch.  It turned out, however that she was a Singaporean Chinese.  She had had her eyes done so her Asian origins were not immediately obvious. She spoke good English but with a noticeable accent. She too liked classical music. We had a congenial enough dinner at a nearby restaurant and then went back to my place to watch some operetta on DVD.  She seemed favourably impressed but after a while said: "I have to go now" and bolted out the door quite unceremoniously.  I would be surprised if I saw her again.

Then on Saturday I had a break from the Asian ladies. A blonde lady -- JD -- I had seen only once before over tea about a month ago rang me and suggested that I take her to dinner that night.  She is in her 60s but still looking very good. So we went to a nearby Burmese restaurant where we had a very good dinner and where we got on quite well. We watched some operetta back at my place after dinner. The most interesting thing about her to me however is that she agreed to have a regular dinner with me once a week from then on.  I look forward to that happening.

My year so far

I find myself rather surprised to be still alive in 2020. I had never imagined getting this far but I am still alive and feebly kicking at age 77. So I thought some record of my aged self would be appropriate.

In my late '50s and early '60s, I had a number of good and memorable relationships but none of them lasted. So by 2005 I was really hopeful of a lasting relationship

And I got my wish. In late 2005 I met Anne, beginning a long and happy relationship that lasted until early this year.

In the last couple of years I have had a couple of operations to remove cancers in my neck and that seems to have triggered a general decline in my fitness. So, by 2020, 77 years of sedentary living had really caught up with me. I had experienced a substantial loss of vigour and fitness, leaving me as a shadow of my former self. That contributed to Anne leaving me for a much fitter man.

The friendship between us endures, however, so we still see one another at least once a week.  Tomorrow is the 15th anniversary of us meeting so we will be celebrating that with a lunch at our favourite dining spot tomorrow

Many men die in their 60s. It is a great age of dying for men. So those of us who survive into our late 70s are rarely in perfect health.

My greatest age-related difficulty is my low level of strength and vigour. I was very strong for most off my life -- something my son Joe inherits -- but, after 77 years of a sedentary life, most of that is lost. I usually use my hands to help me out of a chair, for instance.

So you might conclude from that that I am in generally poor health. Surprisingly, the truth is the reverse. I am basically in perfect health. When blood tests results come in, my liver function, kidney function and blood sugar come in dead centre. And when doctors see my electrocardiograms they just nod and walk away. There is nothing to discuss. And my BP is still around 140/70.

And while your heart is beating you are alive. When it stops you are dead. And mine seems destined to beat for a while yet. There are a lot of long lives in my family. One relative made it to 100.

And that fits with something else: As a former Mensa member I am a certified high IQ person. And high IQ persons commonly live into their 90s



And there are still some faint positives in my appearance. Most people of my age are pretty wrinkly by now but I have hardly any wrinkles at all. But I do look rather blotchy and that goes back to something else:

I had lots of coughs and colds in my childhood and the local doctor always gave me his "pink mixture" to deal with that. It contained arsenic. I think it goes back to Paracelsus who observed that the toxicity is in the dose and small doses of arsenic probably are on balance helpful. But I got a lot of it and from my late teens the results came out in the form of skin cancer. I get outbreaks very frequently now. But it has become routine for me to get them chopped out so they hardly bother me. The little blotches are however low-priority cancers. I get bigger ones that demand first attention.

Alcohol: I was a heavy drinker once but drink little these days. I often have a glass of wine with dinner but rarely finish it.

My interests and activities have contracted in line with my fitness. I spend less time blogging now (about 4 hours per day) and my chief leisure activity is dining out. I don't even watch TV now. My mind is still sharp, however, so I feel that I still have something to contribute.

I hope to have new companionship while I do so but am not optimistic about that. I am probably too old and feeble to initiate a new relationship. Though there are some interesting possibilities at the moment.

I had an exceptionally medical day today -- two appointments with two doctors during which I underwent a total of five procedures -- all minor

And last night I had for dinner that great family favourite: Egg rolled pork.  Most readers here will have no trouble guessing  the exceptionally kind person who made that for me

Tuesday update

I got into my best gear for our anniversary celebration.  See below:

An eldern dinner party

I have been seeing more than usual of Anne this week, to my considerable satisfaction. We had a Tuesday lunch together and today we had a small dinner party together. And Anne and I will be dining together tomorrow.

Anne's best friend is J.. and she has a husband G..   and J.. hosted the dinner party.  I get on well with G.. so I was invited along to make up the numbers of the foursome.  In a very traditional way, the men mainly talked in the dining area while the women talked in the kitchen

Our hostess

Our host

J. did an excellent pie with vegetables for the dinner and in a very Scottish way Anne dished up my version of the dinner.  She knows what I take.  So I got a big slice of the yummy pie and only a token amount of vegetables.  I noticed that J  had only a small slice of pie and a plate replete with vegetables so I am glad I didn't get her dinner.

G. and I chatted about political matters in our usual way. G was at the time thinking about how Australia's constitution could be improved and so we also discussed constitutional arrangements in the USA and Britain.  No wonder the ladies retreated to the kitchen!

G. is firmly anti American, as is common in Australia, so he was rather surprised and pleased when I told him that America is more democratic than Australia and Britain because it has congressional (parliamentary) elections every two years.  So a bungling government can be kicked out more quickly there.

We had our tea all together in the parlour after the dinner so everyone was amused when I briefly nodded off during one of G's harangues.  It will be a remembered event, I think.

After the dinner, we went back to Anne's place for a lie down where we had some very pleasant chats in our usual way

A crazy sort of a day

My day today started out as a medical appointment followed by a lunch but that was the only simple thing about it. It soon got complicated

I was due for a 11:40 appointment at my skin cancer clinic today  for a review of the dressings on a recent shave biopsy. I am usually pretty good about punctuality but I do very occasionally  get the hour wrong. I turned up at 10:40 instead of 11:40.  But I am a frequent customer there so the receptionist was indulgent and  popped me in to be seen next anyway.

And when I saw the doctor she did an amazing number of things for me.  She put on FOUR dressings on four of my bad bits and sprayed another bad bit: A rare 5 in 1 service.  She was a gem to look after me so well. She was booked to do one dressing but did four.

And then there was the lunch: scheduled for 12:30 and to be the first part of new arrangements with Anne.  I knew the traffic was bad out her way so when she was late getting to my place I texted her at 12:20 to tell her to go straight to the restaurant, where we are both well-known.

Unbeknown to me however she had nearly got to my place when I left.  So she saw me driving off in Merton Rd and followed me. So I got to the parking lot and was walking along towards the restaurant when a little hand suddenly appeared in my hand. It was Anne!  A very convenient coincidence leading to a very pleasant surprise

And when we arrived at the restaurant for our booking, some previous diners were dilatory so there was no table for us. So we went shopping in the nearby Woolworths for 10 minutes until the restaurateur rang me on mobile to say that a table was free.

So we eventually sat down only a little late for our lunch and it was great  -- calamari with chips and salad.  That place does the best calamari I have ever had.  Definitely worth the wait

Anne was wearing an arty red necklace that I once gave her

I was so happy that night that as I was going to bed I was singing in my head "Colonel Bogey". My normal happy song is "Men of Harlech"

The wonders of private medicine in Brisbane

Late last week, I noticed that a rather large lump had developed under my jaw where a cancer used to be. Over the weekend I decided that I needed an expert opinion about it. So on Monday I rang my ENT guy (an eminent surgeon) and was given an appointment for that morning.

He felt that the lump was not cancerous but booked me in for both an MRI scan and a PET scan just to check. I had the MRI that day and the PET scan the day after. 

It is unimaginable how I could have got a more rapid response to my concerns.  And all the parties were private contractors, not government employees, funnily enough.

No shortages where I shop

I have always been somewhat bemused by news reports of shortages in the shops -- mainly baby formula and toilet rolls.  There has NEVER been a shortage of baby formula at my local Woolworths. I read of Chinese buyers stripping the shelves of it.  There are plenty of Chinese people where I live but the supply of formula must have been enough for them to leave some on the shelves

The toilet roll story is a bit different.  There was period of  a couple of weeks when it regularly and rapidly sold out but for all the rest of the time there was always plenty on sale

Below are a couple  of example pix taken recently

Those "No trees" toilet rolls are a puzzle.  What do they make them out of?  Plastic?

A farewell and a wake

Nanna was cremated at the Mt Thompson crematorium today.  Anne and I attended together with about 25 other people.  The travel bans meant that none of her grandchildren other than Joe were able to attend.  We had a very good video speech from Paul however.  Nanna's favourite song was played:  The Bluebird of Happiness.  She used to sing it. The whole occasion was relaxed but dignified.

Anne accompanied me to the occasion and Jenny sat with Jeff during the service

The funeral chapel

After that was the wake at Jenny's place.  The food was good and a nice party resulted.  Jenny and her friends organized it. I went for the sandwiches as usual.

Both Anne and I talked to Jeff a bit and Joe sat with me for a while in his usual silent but companiable way.  It was good to see Timmy and Rachel there.   Rachel is "showing" now. Timmy was looking dapper in his suit. Ken and Maureen also attended, as did Mark and his ladies

At Jenny's request, none of us wore black. I wore a red flannelette shirt and Anne was dressed in shades of beige. She is dressing very well these days.  Kate was very nicely dressed in blue and Joe was dressed in greys

More birthday celebrations

I am now 77

Joe came over about 8:30am and we sat talking about politics for a while before he had to return to his work

Then at midday I met Regina at Easts Leagues Club for lunch. The meals were forgettable but Regina was pleasant as usual.

Then at around 7pm Joe and Kate came over, bringing some dinner which we had in the old living room. It was curried sausages so was a combination of two things I like. And there was a fancy chocolate cake to finish.

As we often do, Kate and I talked a fair bit about research

Egg-rolled pork!

My birthday celebrations got underway tonight.  Jenny came over to my place bringing a big dish of Korean egg-rolled pork -- complete with the usual accompaniments: Japanese ginger and Korean Kim Chee.

So with three strong-tasting dishes I definitely had a good  birthday dinner.  Egg-rolled pork has become a family favourite dish so most people reading this will know what I am talking about. 

Jenny did not stay on after the dinner as she has a lot to do in connection with a certain interment event on Thursday. It was good of her to make me a birthday dinner at a time of great stress and sadness for her.

When I was in an ICU

The following account of what a stay in intensive care does to you did explain a lot to me.  I was twice in intensive care in the last couple of years after my two operation on my neck to remove cancers

I was in there for little more than a day on both occasions so the  effects of ICU should have been minimal for me but I certainly felt them when I came out of the anaesthetic. I was in a fog.

I have always felt and said that those operations -- particularly the first one -- were a watershed for me.  I was never the same again.  I am much less energetic and vigorous and my once unshatterable self-confidence is now much more shaky.  I feel that I am only the remnant of what I was.  Much of my psychological  strength is gone and I am certainly physically feeble.

At age 76, most of the effects I am talking about could be attributed to simple old age and there is certainly an element of that at work.  But as soon as I got home I was aware that I was enfeebled and noted later that there was not the expected  rapid bounceback to where I previously was.

I still seem to be OK mentally, however. I still find it easy to see the holes in most of the published scientific research that I encounter


I am an ICU doctor, but I have also been an ICU patient following an admission with sepsis. My recovery was longer, and in some ways scarier, than sepsis was. The weakness patients experience after intensive care is profound, and it takes days to be able to stand, then to walk upstairs and then to walk to the shops. But the muscles recover quicker than the brain, and it is in the brain where the longer lasting effects of PICS preside.

The cognitive symptoms are the easiest to recognise. In the weeks after I was discharged from ICU, my thinking was foggy, I could not sustain any attention while reading or watching TV, and tasks such as recollection and simple decision-making were inexplicably tiring. Although the worst of it resolves relatively quickly, it took me several weeks to feel able to solve the sort of problems necessary for me to look after patients again.

But the psychological impact is far more pernicious than just the cognitive effects. Depression and anxiety are common in post-ICU patients. But even without these overt labels, the alterations to one’s perspective can be profound. Optimism decays to pessimism, willpower and aspiration are drained away. Despite being a doctor fully aware of PICS, it was months before I could even recognise this psychological aspect in myself, and it took longer still to overcome it.

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