Thursday, December 28, 2023

Another surprise visit

Today I got a pleasant surprise. I answered a knock on my door to find Anne there.  We had discussed meeting today but Anne had a busy day ahead so it was not arranged.  But a gap came up in her schedule during the day so there she was on my doorstep at 12 noon.  The opportunity to see me came up suddenly so she just got into her car and came over straight away.  I gave her some lunch and we spent a couple of hours together  which I greatly  enjoyed

So I  am rather pleased to be someone whom at least some ladies feel free to visit at will

Come to think about it, another lovely lady called on me unannounced a few months ago.  Also a very pleasant surprise.  I will not mention her name but she is a very old friend

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Boxing Day reflections



A very quiet day for me so plenty of time for reflections. The torrential weather prevented anyone from visiting me so I for once spent the day with no company at any time.

Now that I am 80,I tend to look back on my life and think about its ups and downs. Thanks to a series of kind ladies however it has mostly been a happy life with very few downs. My one big regret is that I am not married. I have had 4 marriages so that has clearly always been my aspiration. So I have failed at that goal. My compensations have been large, however. I have had some remarkably good relationships and still do. I have in my life at the moment 4 very kind women. I say something about each of them in my annual personal report but I think I might add to that here.

Jenny and I met 40 years ago, married shortly after that and split up 30 years ago. But we have always remained in close touch and have in recent years ended up in close to a married state again. We dine together four nights a week and she accompanies me to all my medical appointments. And that has been a big emotional support to me. She does love someone else in a very platonic way but he loves his ex-wife so I come an honourable second. I am grateful for that. The man she loves is also an old friend of mine so there are no hard feelings about it.

And as well as an ex-wife in my life I have an ex-girlfriend: Anne. We have known one another since Sept 1, 2005 and were an item for 14 years after that. She now has a good quasi-marriage with another man. They live together. Unusually, however, she insisted from the first in her new reltionship that she would continue to see me regularly. Her new man did not like that at all but she gave him no choice. To save his feelings she normally sees me on Saturday mornings only, while he is attending his Seventh Day Adventist church. So the surprising thing is that she still wants to see me and that I want still to see her. But we do. There are still loving feelings between us so it is a romance, though now a very unusual one. So our relationship remains an important emotional support to me.

I am however not done with an ex-wife and an ex-girlfriend. I also have a close female friend to help keep me happy. My current girlfriend is Zoe, a native of Srbia who left that place aged 45 thirty years ago. We are hugely incompatible in all sorts of ways but from our first meeting we liked one another and the relationship rapidly develped. We have been seeing one-another for two years now. She lives out Ipswich way so that is a long way from where I live, making it around a 40 minute drive every time she wants to see me. So for a long time she would would see me only 2 or 3 times a week. Lately, however, she has been seeing me more frequently than that. There is no doubt of her feelings for me now. Our incompatibilities are still an occasional source of friction but they don't disrupt the pleasure we have in seeing one-another for long.

So I may not be married but I still do pretty well for companionship and I am profoundly grateful for that.

I have seen and experienced a huge number of things in my 80 years, including big changes in almost everything, from gramophones to DVDs. I am very pleased and satisfied to have been there -- to have seen and experienced it all. I probably have a few years left to me but I can already say, in the words of a famous Bach cantata, Ich habe genug



Monday, December 25, 2023

A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL WHO COME BY HERE TODAY

I gave both Anne and Zoe bouquets of flowers as Christmas presents. See below. The one for Anne was Christmas-coloured gerberas, quite unusual. But Anne helped me to pick it. I did not give Jenny flowers as she is getting other things.


For Anne


For Zoe

Our Christmas lunch was between 12 and 3pm. It was a quiet affair, principally due to the absence of kids and grand kids overseas. Present were Jenny, Joe, myself and a couple who are good friends of Jenny. The principal food was ham off an actual ham and roast pork. Dessert was Pavlova. Neither Joe nor I talked much but others made up for that

Zoe paid me a visit between about 5pm and 8pm. Neither of us were hungry so we mostly just lay about. So I got some Christmas kisses and cuddles, which I enjoyed



Friday, December 22, 2023

Vego Persian



Zoe has noted the praise I wrote about the "Saffron" Persian restaurant and felt that I should take her there. I pointed out that the place is best known for grilled meat so that might not suit her -- as she is an extreme Vegan. She was very keen to see what I saw however so I took her there. They did have two vegetarian offerings so we ordered those. She was not really happy with those items but it ended up as a reasonable lunch

The lady with the bosom waited on us again -- dressed this time in close-fitting clothes. The bosom could therefore be evaluated. I guessed DD



Tuesday, December 19, 2023

A very social day


Around noon my old friend John H. brought me over some lunch, a mild curry his wfe had cooked. It was very good.

We mainly talked about church matters, out of deference to his conversion from Anglo-Catholicism to Roman Catholicism. He has walked the Camino de Santiago, a pilgrimage to the cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Spain. So he takes ceremonial religion seriously. He Left about 1pm

Then at around 2pm, Zoe arrived bearing a salad lunch, of which I had only a small part. After lunch we just lay down cuddled up in bed, which I always like. She left about 4pm

Then at at round 6pm, Jenny arrived, bringing a dinner of some excellent chicken kebabs and salad. She stayed to around 7:30pm



Thursday, December 7, 2023

The modern marvels of food delivery


Uber Eats began food delivery in August 2014 with the launch of the UberFRESH service in Santa Monica, California. It set off a revolution. There are now food delivery services worldwide with a number of organizations offering similar services. The one I use is DoorDash, also of American origin but now well entrenched in Australia.

Now that I no longer drive I have become a regular user of their services and greatly appreciate them. For $20 I can have a freshly cooked meal delivered to my door as soon as half an hour after ordering it. And the charge for delivery included in that $20 is only about $3, which I regard as a bargain. Compared to getting in my car and driving to the source restaurant it saves me a lot of time and probably money. And I get a very wide choice of restaurants, ones I mostly was previously unaware of. I even use them to give me cooked breakfasts on occasions

So it is not as big a deal as the invention of the steam engine but it is a modern marvel nonetheless. And it is all the work of profit-seeking companies with no government involvement: Capitalism at its best. I shudder to think what a government-provided service would cost.



Sunday, December 3, 2023

She's back



A certain person who no longer wants me to mention her on this blog materialized at my place this afternoon. It was good to see her after a 3 week gap.



Saturday, November 11, 2023

A Persian lunch


I wanted to treat Anne to a special lunch so I took her to the "Saffron" restaurant at Stones corner -- run by Zoroastrian Persians. As I usually do there, I ordered the combination platter for two, which was huge and impressive as usual: 3 different kebabs plus rice, salad and chips. Persians are masters at grilling meat

Lunch was 12 noon but Anne and I normally see one another for 9am breakfast so Anne came over around 9am anyway as we had a few things to discuss. While we were waiting for lunch, I put on a lot of Sibelius for her, which she liked



Thursday, November 9, 2023

A triple treat


I had today arrangements to have lunch with Anne and dinner with Jenny. But today was also Zoe's birthday so she came over at mid-afteroon with the idea of us having coffee and cake by way of a celebration. We could not think of a nearby cakeshop that would be open at that hour so we went to McDonalds and had iced coffee, something we both enjoy. We spent a couple of hours together in total so I had pleasant times with three fine ladies in the one day. I think that qualifies me as a lucky man

Saturday, November 4, 2023

From Anne's big trip


I had my usual pleasant Saturday morning with Anne and we tried to find on her phone ANY picture of her on her big trip. As the photographer, all her photos were of other things and people. We finally found one of her, however -- from when she was in Normanton. As you will see, she too is a doggy lady. That's a sculpture of a crocodile behind her





Friday, November 3, 2023

A very social time


Anne came over between about 9:30 and 11:30pm yesterday for a chat and a trip to the Japanese restaurant for brunch. The food there is always first class. I am hoping for more Thursday morning visits from her.

Then last night Jenny came over and cooked us a dinner of red meat plus lots of salad. She had decided to stay overnight so we opened a bottle of Tyrrell's Verdelho. Wine with dinner is a rare treat for me these days

This morning Jenny will be driving us to breakfast, venue as yet undecided but probably Buranda.

And this evening I am expecting to see Zoe. She came off the plane from Srbia a few days ago with a bad wog so has not been fit to travel up until now. It will be over 3 months since I have seen her so I am looking forward to it

AFTERNOON UPDATE

Zoe arrived at around 3pm. She looked surprisingly good, I thought. She has always looked good for a woman in her 70s but she looked at least as good as ever despite her heavy cold. Maybe her stay in Srbia was good for her. She did miss the Brisbane winter by going there in mid July.

She really should have stayed away from me for a couple more days to complete her recovery from the virus but she has been back in Brisbane since 26th and we both felt uncomfortable at waiting so long to get back together.

Sadly, we could not kiss as the viral load I would get from that would be too risky altogether.

She arrived asking for a salad lunch so I took her to Nando's for a Mediterranean salad, which she likes. I ate only half of mine but she polished off the remaining half. So I fed her well. We then went to to MacDonalds for an iced coffee each

After we got home, all we did was have a big lie-down in bed together. She went to sleep for most of it, which should have helped her recovery. She went home at her usual 7pm -- looking rather more lively than when she arrived

She brought me back a souvenir of her trip. See below. She and I both like and collect oil lamps and the one below is the smallest we have ever seen. She got it in Turkey. But it is fully functional. I show it beside a 50c piece for scale. It is just over 4" tall





Saturday, October 28, 2023

A big Pow Wow this morning


Anne has recently returned from her big caravan trip around Australia. So was that the end of her caravanning? She was thinking of one more trip but I told her that another trip would upset me. I missed her during her recent trip so I would not like another trip. She agreed with my view and has now sent the Toyota Prado (used to tow the caravan) to her son for him to sell. He is very cluey so should do that job well. He estimates that we should get back the $70,000 we spent buying it plus perhaps a little more

Anne and I also agreed to a change in our meeting arrangements. We will continue as before to breakfast each Saturday morning but will add a breakast most Thursdays. I am really pleased about that

After our big discussions, we went to Buranda as usual for our breakfast



Wednesday, October 25, 2023

A gastroscopy


I had a gastroscopy today which took up most of my day, one way or another. The doctors were searching for the cause of my anemia and thought that I might have leaking varices (enlarged blood vessels) somewhere in my stomach area. I didn't. I was all normal down there.

So that is rather good news but leaves the cause of my anemia unexplained. It would normally signify low levels of serum iron but my iron levels are normal



Sunday, October 15, 2023

An amazing sort of a day


Yesterday was good for me in both personal and political ways. The decisive defeat of the referendoum in Australia and the decisive expulsion of the Left in NZ were the political highpoints but there were some good personal highpoints too.

For the last couple of days I had been troubled by a gammy hip -- one of the nightmares of the elderly. But Ibuprofen had been helping with it so I took some more at 7am. And by 10pm the hip was no longer gammmy. If someone had prayed for me over it, it would have been accounted as a genuine miracle from the Lord. And the cure is still in place this morning.

And Anne arrived at 8:30am and drove us to the Buranda coffee place. And we did well there. We both had favorite breakfasts with coffee that cost me surprisinly little. With deductions and discounts, the bottom line was $37.45, a very old-fashioned price. I am "not short of a bob", in the old Australian idiom, but I still like to get value for money. I give half of my disposable income to a charitable cause and I like the results I am getting there too

And before we left Buranda, Anne and I managed to snag some Portuguese custard tarts for our morning tea -- one of our favorite rituals. While there I also bought Anne a small bunch of flowers, including some red roses.

Then I decided some Nandos chicken was what I fancied for lunch. So after some time trying to navigate food ordering via the internet, I finally managed to place an order with Deliveroo. And the food arrived still warm. Again I was pleased at my spend. They charged me only $5 in addition to the cost of the food

And I had a nefarious scheme in mind for that night. I have been rather regretful that my "days of wine and roses" seem to be over so I thought that by giving Anne roses and having a glass of wine with Jenny over dinner I would be able to defy that limitation. Sadly, however, Jenny was too unwell to have any wine

So I decided to have a "Jimmy Woodser" (drink alone). I had a of glass of very nice Rosemount Traminer Riesling as a nightcap. So I did have at least one more day of wine and roses



Thursday, October 12, 2023

I think my days of wine and roses are over


I have just been notified that for health reasons I am no longer licensed to drive. I had stopped driving anyway. For most of my life I was a demon driver but in 60 years of driving I have never hurt myself or anyone else so I am rather proud of that

It makes me think of a famous short poem from over 100 years ago by Ernest Dowson

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream


My days of wine and roses were actually very long -- largely ending only a few years ago when I first had a life-threatening encounter with cancer. But ceasing to drive puts a final cap on it. So I am thankful that my good days were many.

But I think there was a peak to my days of wine and roses. I see 1968, when I was in my mid-20s, as the time in my life most aptly described as that. See: https://memoirsjr.blogspot.com/2023/06/a-memoir-of-1968.html

The Hollywood film called "Days of wine and roses" describes a descent into alcoholism. That is not me. I drank much good wine in my time but it never harmed me. These days a wee dram of Scotch at night before bed is my only indulgence

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

I was young once


On looking at my old photo collection, I was rather struck by the photo below from 1983 when I was 39 and Jenny was 30. It was taken at the Russian ball.

I may be kidding myself but I am inclined to think that I was rather young-looking for my age in that photo. My face was still well filled out with very little in the way of lines. I could well be one of the lucky few who age slowly. The fact that I am still alive and feebly kicking at age 80 may be consistent with that.





Saturday, September 23, 2023

Learning foreign languages: A true story


Studying a foreign language at school or even at university tends to be a waste. Rarely do the students concerned progress to anything like native fluency. They are even lucky to remember enough to be useful on holiday in the country concerned. So why do it? I would generally advise against it.

There was a young Australian girl, however, who decided to make a big effort to learn French. She studied it at High School and later at university. Why did she do that? Because her "ex" was a keen student of German. Good female logic.

And her efforts had some success. She learnt enough French to move to France and become an English teacher there. With her Australian background, she also of course had some interest in England and holidayed there from time to time and made some friends in London.

On one occassion her English friends were putting on a dinner party for people they knew and included in the guest list a young up-and-coming Frenchman. He knew little English but that problem was solved by sitting him alongside the Australian girl, as she was the only other person who spoke French.

The two have been married for around 50 years now and live in grand style in central Paris with a country house in Normandy and a beach house in Brittany. So studying foreign languages CAN pay off sometimes



Sunday, September 17, 2023

An anachronism survives


Cutting-edge medical science seems to have given me hopes of two or more years of life

And while I am far from alone in it I appear to be one of the few still alive who had the benefit of a good classical education. That makes me an anachronism, a person from a bygone time

During my days in High school I gained a knowledge of the language and literature of three foreign languages plus ancient history and classical English literature. I entered High school at a time when a classics education was no longer compulsory but it was optionally available and I took good advantage of that opportunity

My classical education would once been have deemed incomplete without some knowedge of ancient Greek. To call a person "Greekless" was once to call them uneducated -- but to a small extent I remedied that deficiency by private study and can to this day recite two famous passages in Greek and debate the grammar involved. ἐν ἀρχῇ ἦν ὁ λόγος etc

But the point of a classical education is not to know the declension of the Latin noun "mensa" but rather what goes with classical study: The introduction to assumptions and ways of thought from different times and places. It enables us to transcend our awareness of our own times and places. It "broadens" our minds, if I may be so old-fashioned as to use that phrase. It liberates us from seeing anything in our present as being inevitable or normal. It uproots assumptions

And of the three foreign languages I studied, the one I enjoy most to this day is Latin. German and Italian are more useful to me because I also like classical music and most classical music emanates from German and Italian sources. When I hear the great Bach aria "Mache dich mein Herze rein", I actually understand what the singer is saying. And when I hear the Monteverdi madrigal "Chiome d'oro" I marvel at the fact that blonde hair was admired even in Renaissance Italy -- 400 years ago.

But Latin is the language that I enjoy most for itself. I like it in part because of its succinctness. The most famous example of that is of course "veni, vidi, vinci" but a 19th century British General in the Indian wars allegedly did even better with "peccavi". And Latin is also a powerful way of putting something. "de gustibus non disputandum est" is hard to argue with.

So the point I am making is that a classical education opens doors to both enjoyment and wisdom. To have lost it is a serious deprivation. So the fact that I write from that perspective will help keep a small amount of that perspective alive and functioning for a while.

I am aware of an appearance of inconsistency in praising the classics while it is Cemiplimab that is keeping me alive but there is no opposition between the classics and science. And as someone who has had 200+ scientific papers published in the academic journals I am an embodiment of that. I even know what heteroscedasticity refers to.

And a classical education can in fact the helpful in science. Academic writing is notoriously hard to follow but a person with a background in Latin will usually be able to write English more clearly. So an academic colleague once said to me: "John, we don't always agree with you but at least we understand what you are saying"



Friday, September 15, 2023

Medical Event


At age 80, I can reasonably expect some health problems. And I am no exception. I am at the moment battling two types of cancer -- SCCs in my upper body and metastasized prostate cancer in my lower body. Both are treatable. I underwent the first treatment steps today. I got an anti-androgen medication (injected Firmagon) for the prostate problems and a monoclonal antibody -- Cemiplimab --for the SCCs in my upper body.

Cemiplimab is an extremely expensive medication that has only recently emerged from clinical trials. The Australian government put it on the "free" list just in November last year so I am lucky to be getting it

Zoe and Anne are both out of town but I am pleased that in my time of trial I have received affectionate messages from both of them -- and Jenny has stepped up to become my live-in carer

Saturday update: They talk about the luck of the Irish. I do have substantial Irish ancestry and some of that luck seems to have rubbed off on me. I went to the Wesley for my treatment, which is a major Brisbane private hospital. And it turns out that I was the first to get Cemiplimab there. It came on to the free list just in time for me to get it



Saturday, September 9, 2023

Reprieve


My cancers have now been identified. I am full of cancer so should be facing death soon but it has emerged that I have two types of cancer and both are treatable. Both have in fact been successfully treated in me before.

PET scans have revealed that my upper body is riddled with SCC metastases and my lower body is riddled with prostate cancer metastases. Between them they eat up my energy but other symptoms are mild.

I have had immunotherapy for SCCs in the past which has worked well and I have previously controlled prostate cancer with antiandrogens. The prostate cancers will not go away but will stop growing and may shrink to some degree. In some cases anti-androgens have controlled prostate cancer for up to 10 years. Patients just die of other things

Anti-androgens do however damage energy levels so I am out of the fryingpan and into the fire on that one. I will continue to live but in a semi-invalid state. That is not a big bother to me as I will be able to continue blogging, which is most of what I do anyway



Tuesday, September 5, 2023

A hug postponed 50 years


Around 1970 I was part of a social group that included an attractive lady I will refer to as KC, she was tall, smart, was very good humoured and had a good figure. I was sweet on her. Another male in our social group was, however, also sweet on her so I deferred to him and did not pursue the lady. I thought he needed her more than I did. He was in rather poor health.

And they did form a relationship until he fell in love with China instead. He went and lived there and married a Chinese lady. So she soon sought others and ended up the wife of a rather prominent person. He was a lucky man to win her. They have been together now for over 30 years.

So it is a long time since I have seen her. Rather wonderfully, however, another member of our old social group brought her over to see me today. We had some very lively chats. She was still the good-natured and good-humoured person of old. It was a great pleasure to see her.

As she was leaving, however, I gave her a hug, a hug I had never given her before, given the circumstances.



She and I used to be about the same height but I have shrunk over the years while she has not.