Boxing Day

As it was a Saturday, Anne came over for our customary Saturday breakfast together. We first exchanged Christmas presents. She gave me a fancy kerosene lamp that I really like and I gave her a variety of things, mostly edible



Our usual breakfast haunt was closed so we went to the Gold Leaf at Kangaroo Pt., where I also sometimes go. Our tiny Vietnamese hostess greeted us with great enthusiasm as she usually does.  She is a big personality in a small body.

I had my usual hamburger with cheese and Anne just had poached eggs on toast.  She said they do poached eggs better than she can do them.  She also praised the coffee there as she usually does.  We arrived a bit after 9am but were the only customers there so we got our meals quite promptly.

After breakfast we went back to my place to view an operetta  on DVD.  It was Das Land des Lächelns set first in Vienna and then in China.  Both the acting and the singing were superb.  

My review of the show here

The acting really got you into the story.  Even though the operetta was by Lehar, one of the great operetta composers, it was unusual for an operetta in that not everyone ended up living happily ever after.  The two Chinese figures ended up deeply in love with partners whom they could not have, which was convincingly portrayed as sad and tragic.

It certainly got though to me as it did remind me of my own situation -- in love with Anne but  not having her as a full-time partner.  So I got a bit upset at the end of the show.  Since I do see Anne for quite congenial meetings once a week, however, I am not really badly off.  Getting upset about not having someone when she was sitting beside me was a bit silly.  I did at any event tell her that Dein ist mein ganzes Herz, the theme song of the show

Then that night both Joe and Jenny came over for Boxing day night, when we did our best to eat up the Christmas leftovers.  I was very happy with a ham and mustard toasted sandwich.  As I always do, I shouted a small ham on the bone for Christmas so that is as good as ham gets.  Joe and I had a good chat.

Christmas 2020

As we have done for many years Jenny and I got together for Christmas dinner.  Anne always has dinner with her children.

Jenny, Joe and I started out on Christmas eve with a dinner of nibblies from the food prepared for the next day. Joe went home to his place afterwards

Joe rejoined us for breakfast on Christmas day. Jenny made me some porridge and we also had some strawberry and rhubarb jam from France on toast.

Then at 1pm on Christmas day we added Vladimir to our gathering.  Vlad is from Ukraine  and has no family here so we were glad to invite him to a family occasion.  Though it is not really his Christmas as he was brought up Orthodox.  He fitted in well with the rest of us. He is one of my tenants from downstairs. He is very bright and very good-natured

Jenny  provided a great range of food, of which the main element was sliced ham and sliced turkey.  A cold lunch seemed most appropriate in the middle of a Brisbane summer.

Then at 7pm that night Jenny and I dined on leftover ham and turkey on toast with mustard

The much reduced family. So many trapped overseas

Joe and Vlad

Note our Christmas plates. They are actually Italian plates -- Importata dal Italia -- in the Italian flag colours of red and olive green. But the colours suited Christmas too. Note also that Ganesha was present to supervise the occasion. Jenny garlanded him appropriately

The end of a transition

At the beginning of this year I was entirely happy with my relationships. I had an old friend and ex-wife whom I loved in an understated way (Jenny) and a girlfriend (Anne) with whom I was in love.  And both relationships were of long standing

But that was disrupted when Anne started a close relationship with G..  So I was no longer first priority in her life.  I was greatly upset by the change.

I decided that I needed to get a new girlfriend.  Given my poor level of strength and fitness, however, that did not have a good prospect of success.  

Despite that I got close to my goal a couple of times. A couple of nice ladies did take a serious interest in me. But it was not close enough. Forbidding difficuties arose.

Nonetheless I continued trying. While I was trying however I leant more and more heavily on Jenny for my social life. Whatever I asked of her she gladly did.  In particular, I spent more and more evenings having dinner at her place.

It eventually came about that she was cooking me dinner 6 nights a week.  So it finally dawned on me that I didn't need a new girlfriend after all.  I had support from Jenny that was a considerable fraction of the support she gave me when we were married. She cheerfully revived major parts of our marriage. So that relationship was way better than what I could have hoped from any new girlfriend.  So I abandoned my search for a new girlfriend some time ago

Meanwhile, Anne had never ceased spending some time with me, even though she was by then largely shacked up with G..  To continue to see me every week for meals despite a strong new relationship was of course a testimony to how strong the bond between us had been all along.

So I am now in a sense where I began. The same two ladies who were in my life at the beginning of the year are also the ones in my life towards the end of the year.  The balance between them has however changed.  I am completely happy and at ease with my semi-revived marriage and also delighted to see Anne one a week.  I have transitioned from one happy state to another.  I have every reason to believe that that will continue

Do I need a new car?

I don't but I can drive a lot further than I can walk so my car is an issue.  My 16-year old Toyota Echo goes as well as ever and has always been perfect for me.  But in my declining years there is a small problem with it: My feet tend to slip off the pedals at times.  That is of course dangerous so I deal with it by keeping a good distance away from the car in front of me.  That has worked so far.

Recently, however, I met a bloke who loves old Toyota Echos.  He too thinks Echos are pretty perfect.  He almost salivated when I told him that my Echo has only a bit over 100,000k on the clock.  He desperately wants to buy it off me and has offered $3,000 for it.  A dealer would give me $500.

So that is rather tempting.  My Echo would go to a good home and I would have $3,000 towards buying a new car.  And the new car could be an AUTOMATIC, which would cut back my pedal use and should therefore be safer.  So after 60 years of driving stick-shift cars I would join the softies who drive automatics

So I looked into that.  Because my existing car is so good for my purposes, I could not justify spending a lot of money on a new car.  Just another cheap small car would fill the bill.  So I went for a test-drive in an MG3.  MGs these days are made in China but a lot of British design skill has been put into them and I do like the look of the result.  

And as a cheap car it lacks a lot of the frills you find these days on dearer cars.  After 60 years of having only a speedo and a fuel gauge in front of me I am dubious of my need for anything else.  But I decided that the cruise control, rear camera etc could be useful so the low level of equipment actually suited me

But it all came to naught.  I went for a test drive and found that the seat was not very comfortable.  With my elderly back, I need an ergonomically designed seat with good mid-back support.  And to get that I would need to go to a much more fancy model. So no deal.

EPILOGUE: In putting up this post I had some hope of helpful suggestions. I got two. Joe said I should buy an automatic Toyota secondhand. As we have both had exemplary service out of Toyotas bought secondhand that seemed no problem

The second suggestion was Jenny's. She said I might be safer driving in slippers. I got out an old pair of slippers and she was right. End of problem at zero cost!

Surviving well

My vigour and fitness took a nosedive this week.  I no longer have any energy for almost anything.  What I mostly want to do is lie down.  

Dinner with Joe

Joe and I have been trying to find a time when we can have a relaxed time together. I see him some mornings on his way to work but his head is too full of his very complex work for him to relax much at that time.  Our latest arrangements are for us to get together after his work on Wednesday for a dinner of some sort. That does seem to be working well.  Today we went to a Chinese restaurant at Stones corner which was quite passable

After dinner we sat around at home chatting for quite a while.  We had one of our rare political disagreements and that rather upset Joe. We are both Right-wing but no two people ever have exactly the same political views. He left without the matter being resolved

EPILOGUE

Joe arrived at my place about 7:30 the next morning with the hope of resolving our disagreement.  We didn't really come to an agreement on the matter but we did agree to disagree in an amicable manner so we ended up on better terms than ever.  He went home at about 10am to catch up on his sleep

An anniversary

I took Jenny to my favourite brekkie place this morning for our 35th wedding anniversary.  Still being on good terms after all that time is rather notable.

She ordered a Spanish omelette which she ate with enthusiasm.  I ordered a Viet dish -- honey pork.  I bought her yellow roses for the occasion.

I shaved and wore my best shirt. 

The Bollywood is no more

It was the family favourite Indian restaurant.  But it lives on in the same place under a new name and under new proprietors

Joe and I went to dinner there last night and we didn't notice anything different, though I think the food was a little dearer. Though $37.50 to feed two of us was still very moderate.  I had the Jalfreezi chicken, which was excellent.

As usual, it was very lightly patronized. It is now called the "Spice Avenue".  They are open until 10pm and are on ph. 3847 6755

Snake!

I walked out my bedroom door this afternoon to find myself only a couple of feet away from a large and colourful snake. He was black with yellow spots.  Quite attractive.  He was sitting on my desk unmoving so I felt for a moment that it must be a plastic snake. I soon guessed however that it was a python.  I had one here before a few years ago.  He was a couple of metres long.  

Migrants are often nervous of Australia's wildlife so to hear that you can suddenly have a large snake on your desk would freak them.

I called some snake catchers and they came quite promptly -- after about half an hour. They bagged him in minutes with no trouble. Their fee of $120 seemed reasonable for a Sunday callout.  I don't now where they took him.  To a Chinese restaurant maybe

Changes

Yesterday Anne and I went in to Toyota and put a deposit on a Prado.  So that will progress when they get a new shipment of Prados in the New Year.  She will probably garage the Prado at her place most of the time. I really have no use for it.  My Echo is already perfect for me.  But the Prado will be available to both our families if and when they have a use for it

The new arrangements we have entered into reflect the fact that I now spend most evenings with Jenny.  Anne and I no longer have any regular meetings for dinner.  Only our Saturday mornings remain a fixture

But our Saturday morning this morning was extremely good, with lots of laughs and jollity.  We really have a great talent for good times together.  We breakfasted at our usual place. Anne had Rosti. After breakfast we went to Vinnies and Anne came away with a very good pot for use in the caravan kitchen.  After that we went back to my place and watched videos of classical music.  She left about 11:30

Happiness!

After 15 years together, it was always likely that Anne and I would not be at odds for long.  And so it has proved to be.  We have just had a big pow-wow and have arrived at conclusions that suit both of us well. We both make one another very happy again. As Jenny is the lady in my life these days, Anne and I will not be attempting to revive our old arrangements but we will be reviving one thing that we have always particularly enjoyed:  We will be having Saturday morning breakfasts together again.

An issue that had arisen between us concerned my idea of buying a Toyota Prado solely to tow the large caravan that Anne and George jointly own. For various reasons I had become unhappy with that idea. So we solved that issue in a matter of minutes by way of a good old British compromise.  The purchase of a Prado will go ahead with Anne and me each paying half.  Anne volunteered the remark that that sounded fairer and I of course agreed

I think I have now completed the transition to a new life pattern after the time early this year when my old life with Anne came to an end. I think we have now arrived at realisic new arrangements that should be stable, unstressful and lasting. We have an amazing capacity to make one-another happy and that has survived.

After our big reconciliation, we went and had lunch together -- at our usual cafe -- which was as jolly and affectionate as ever.

As a memento of our big day and its happy conclusion, I gave Anne a classic silver butter dish (with glass insert).  She was with me when I bought it recently so it really was a memento

A breakup

Much to my surprise, on Tuesday 10th, Anne sent me an email cancelling our weekly dinners.  Later that day, however we exchanged messages of mutual esteem so the split was peaceful, which I value.

So in recent weeks I have lost 3 lady friends:  JH, JD and Anne, which sounds distinctly careless

As the split with Anne was unexpected, the effect on my mood was potentially adverse so Joe stayed overnight at my place to give me company.  We had a good night together, mainly talking and watching classical music videos, so that immediately lifted my spirits and I have been in good spirits since

So Anne dines most nights with her obliging partner, George Eakins, and I dine most nights with my obliging ex-wife Jenny.  Jenny is, as ever, an excellent cook so I get dinners derived from an international range of cuisines.  George is a Seventh Day Adventist so Anne cooks him vegetarian dinners.

Jenny and I have in recent days been on a couple of outings in her new and well-appointed Hyundai car.  We dropped in on a couple of Op-shops along the way and I found two shirts that suited me well.  Jenny bought more cookbooks for her collection.

On Saturday night she is cooking and bringing over to me some Larb Moo, a Thai dish we both like.  I normally go over to her place for dinner, a 15 minute drive away.

A recent picture of Jenny

A recent picture of Anne

A recent picture of me

Anne is 75, I am 77, Jenny is 68 and George says he is 75, though he looks more like 60 to me

I wish I could say goodbye as gracefully as the pair below do

EPILOGUE

The Larb moo was excellent!

My new life

A new pattern of living

When I started out looking for a new girlfriend towards the beginning of this year, I was embarking on an unlikely enterprise. My state of health and fitness is so poor that it would need an exceptionally kind lady to take me on.

And after talking to a lot of ladies I have concluded that I have no chance.  So I am giving up the quest.  Unless I attract the interest of a another near-invalid, I am going to have to be happy with the friendships I already have

Fortunately, I am rather well off in that regard. Anne has never stopped seeing me one evening a week and I dine with Jenny five nights a week.  I also see Joe five mornings a week.

And the occasions for all such meetings have now become routine -- always on the same nights and mornings.  As I like routine that suits me very well.

As I am still in love with Anne, seeing her even for one night and morning is very rewarding. 

Then there is Jenny.  I have known Jenny for around 35 years.  During the first ten of those years we were married. Ending the marriage did not end the friendship, however. We have remained very supportive of one another ever since. One illustration of our continued feelings for one another is that I gave her a car during our marriage but also gave her a car around ten years ago -- long after our marriage and while Anne and I were still an item

Dining most nights together is a revival of something that husbands and wives are accustomed to do so doing that again is something familiar to Jenny and me.  I have asked her how she feels about continuing with that right through to my end in a few years' time.  She said that she is happy with that

In summary,  I have a steady refuge of affection and support in Jenny and a great highpoint in my week of my evening with Anne

So I think my life from now on will be very settled, which I like.  No more adventures.

A young fogey

He is a boy I sponsor to study at a distinguished British public school. 

Preparing for a bike ride -- in school jacket, gloves and bow tie

Note the top hat

At sport. Note the long legs. He will be tall

I too was once a young fogey.  When I was a kid I well remember my mother's friends saying of me "John is very old-fashioned".

A visit to Shanghai

Gastronomically only, not in person

Last Friday Anne could not join me for dinner. We are transitioning from a Friday to a Tuesday for our weekly dinner -- a transition that suits both of us.

So on Friday I asked Joe if I could share his dinner that night.  He was very obliging and agreed with great civility.  Friday evening is the regular time for him to have dinner with an old university friend. They are both mathematicians and computer games fans. But he was happy to include me and I know his very amiable friend

Joe took us to a Shanghai Chinese restaurant that he knows near where he lives.  He has visited Shanghai twice so knows the cuisine.

When the food arrived I was greatly surprised. I ordered chicken with rice but what I got was nowhere near what I expected.  I will not attempt to describe it but it was certainly a new experience. I did eat (most of) it.  Joe ate what I left.

So if you think you know Chinese food, you don't.  The Chinese food we get here is mainly Cantonese but there are many cuisines in China.  The Shanghainese regard the Cantonese as peasants.

The cook appeared to be a motherly old lady and the very slightly built Chinese waitress wore an amazingly short skirt!  All rather memorable

Wonders can happen

When at the beginning of this year Anne cut short her times with me in order to spend more time with G.., I did of course feel the need to acquire a new female friend to spend time with.  Given my state of advanced decay, however, that was never going to be easy and it wasn't.  I spoke to and met many ladies who were rightly put off by my geriatric state.

A couple of months ago however I met JD, whom I have already mentioned a few times on this blog.  She too pinged me off at first but I could see great potential for a friendship with her so kept in touch and she has never been quite able to let me go.  We have been having some good Saturday night dinners for some time. And we  have got steadily closer as dinner followed dinner.  We have a lot in common in our thinking.  

So last night (Saturday) we had another good dinner together at a local restaurant, followed by dessert at my place, which  was as pleasant as usual.  But this time there was a sequel

Next day (this morning) she turned up to meet me for breakfast as well.  Dinner only with me was not enough this week. And after breakfast we did a Sunday drive to Wynnum.  So I now seem to have a definite new friend, which pleases me greatly. We do have lots of laughs while we are together

She is rather good looking, blonde and substantially younger than me so you see why I think wonders can happen

EPILOGUE of 5 November:  She had a minor disaster in her personal life shortly after the time mentioned above and has as a result pinged me off for the fourth time.  And there has so far been no going back

A really bad weekend

On Friday I had lump on my ear cut out by an old-fashioned plastic surgeon.  That night the excision bled and I woke up (Sat.) with blood everywhere.  Fortunately, Anne was on hand and helped me until I could get to a doctor. He bound it up tightly and stopped the bleeding. Anne and I had a Muzza's curry pie afterward as a late breakfast.  

I slept last night (Sun.) with no bleeding

Then this morning (Sun.) I woke up with a sniffle.  I had brekky at the pie shop  with Joe that went well.  We talked mainly about world politics.  But after I got home I chucked my brekky.  I have slept for most of the rest of the day so  believe I may have slept it off.  Anne had something similar during the week and got over it quickly.

I had to cancel my date with JD tonight but we have rescheduled that

They're back

Getting pinged off by ladies has happened to me a lot in my life so I have a way of dealing with that: I remain friendly and in contact.  And that worked again. Both JD and JH are back in my life. 

I had a particularly nice time with JD at my place tonight.  She brought over champagne and some excellent pizza and drank rather a lot of the champagne.  We mostly talked about relationships.  We have both had a few

And I now have a dinner date with JH for next week. We will see how that goes

UPDATE:  JH cancelled so I will try no more with her

An auspicious day

In the one day today both JH and JD have dumped me. They leave me with some pleasant memories. As is my custom , I have left my door open

Epilogue

My heading above was of course ironical. Auspicious means expecting a good future. And losing two ladies in one day is distinctly careless.

But the heading has turned out to be more accurate than I intended. I received that same night some news that could be very beneficial to me. I went to bed in a distinctly cheerful frame of mind

A NORTH Vietnamese experience

JD and I normally dine together on Saturday evenings.  Last Saturday, however, she was away for the long weekend ending on Monday.  She obviously missed our Saturday, however, as she texted me on Tuesday morning (6th), asking if we could have breakfast together.  I got the text a bit late for that so I took her to the "Buncha Buncha" North Vietnamese restaurant at Stone's corner that night.    Their cuisine is different from the normal South Vietnamese cuisine that we all now know so well

Nem Hanoi

I had the smoked pork dish and JD had a sort of chicken rissoles. Both were good.  But the remarkable feature of the menu was the crumbed rolls mainly containing seafood: The nem Hanoi.  They were very substantial and very tasty.  I took some home and they were still excellent the next day.  Quite different from any other rolls

On the way home, we picked up a dessert from Aldi-- Mango sorbet.  We took it back to my place.  First we had a cup of tea then the dessert.  After that we watched part of an operetta on DVD.  We were both a bit tired before we had watched much of the operetta so called it a night at that stage:  a very pleasant night

Still celebrating

Anne and I have just celebrated again the revival of our Friday/Saturday arrangements.

On Friday night we had a candlelit dinner with champagne, pate  canapes and some authentic cevapi from Adams deli at Carole park for mains.  They were as good as expected.

Then we watched the operetta Der Vogelhändler on DVD until 11pm.  We held hands for most of it so my new sofa has proven its worth!

On Saturday morning, I did not -- unlike her marvelous partner -- give Anne breakfast in bed but we went to the Gold Leaf for a cooked breakfast, which we always enjoy.  It is one of the few places where Anne approves of the coffee, which she noted again this time. She had a toasted cheese and tomato sandwich and I had a Canadian breakfast,

After that we did our usual trip to Vinnies where I bought her a Jade necklace and a straw hat that looked very stylish on her.  We finished with a cuppa at 10:30 so she could get a start on preparing for a family lunch. It all left me with a happy glow.

A lovely lady I know

Just a friend -- somewhat to my regret