A blackout!

I woke up at about 2am this morning to find no lights on in my room. I wondered for a few minutes how come I had left no lights on. I always leave something on.  Then I realized that the power was out. I was surprised however that I could still see a fair bit of my room about me.  Light was coming through my curtains

I surmised that the street lights must be going so went to my front door to check.  They were out too.  But there was a great bright searchlight right above me in the sky that enabled me to see the street and what was in it fairly clearly.  It was the moon on a cloudless night.  As a creature of civilization I was amazed at how bright it was.

The ambient temperature on my old fashioned glass thermometer was 27 degrees Celsius so neither heating nor cooling was needed

But since I was awake I wanted to do a few things, electricity or not.  So I lit up my two kerosene lamps and my three candles. 



That gave me enough light to cut out a few things from a newspaper that I had been meaning to cut out.

That was the limit of what I could do however so I went back to bed and dozed off into a light sleep.  But at 3:40am the electric lights came back on.  So I got up and blew out my candles and lamps

Ever since childhood I have always had a low-level light source in my room at night. It started out with a small kerosene lamp beside my bed from when I was about 6.  It saves me tripping over things if I get up.  So I was pleased that I could continue that during a blackout.

My bedside light above

Australia Day

I celebrated Australia day in the traditional manner -- with a family BBQ. My brother joined us. We had lamb chops, sausages, salad, various cheses and Tasnmanian Pate. So the food was good.

We had most of the lunch under shade in the garden at Lindwall St. but adjourned to air conditioning for our Pavlova dessert

We discussed the ever-growing "Invasion Day" movement and wondered why they cannot have their day while we had ours. Each to his own, we said

But the motivation for the protests is actually clear. They smell money in it. It's an ever louder call for "reparations". They seem to think that can get yet more money from the government for people with any Aboriginal ancestry.

The fact that the government already gives them various types of support that are not available to other Australians is ignored. Gratitude? You'd be joking. The existing payments have simply made them greedy for more.

They think that more noise will produce more money. But that is unlikely to happen. Whatever they got they would want more and that should be obvious to anyone. One of the reports below asked for a million dollars for each aborigine. The whole thing is just contemptible money grubbing -- JR

A perceptive comment

Since the death of Chris Brand, my mental "other half", I have had occasional contact with Dr. Natalia Brand, Chris' widow.  She is a highly qualified Taiwanese art historian and gets a huge amount out of art.  A painting that I would not look at twice she gets lots out of. 

She has made Chris's old apartment into an art gallery and has a male artist friend who helps her with that. I am delighted that she has good company now.  I had not realized that Chris was something of an art collector.  That would have drawn Chris and Natalia together. Though they were pretty good partners generally.

In a recent email from her she commented on this blog and its heading. She wrote:

"I have read your notes from a 'quiet' life. Instead, you have had a turbulent and emotional life. But, I am glad you enjoy your food and drinks"

She is right. The fact is that the recent revolution in my 15 year relationship with Anne has overturned my quiet life. But it shows that what exists between us is actually a great romance, improbable as that may seem. That Anne still wants to see me regularly despite now being shacked up with someone else is surprising enough but equally surprising is that I now see Jenny six nights a week but still want to see Anne. Is that not a great romance?

A very affectionate relationship that survives our circumstances is surely an exceptional one at least.  It may even be more exceptional than the arrangements of Antonia Staats

So my weekly meetings with Anne do make me very happy but I would much like to see her more often.  That may happen

A special dinner with Anne

Anne has a b*rthday soon so we organized a special Friday night dinner to mark the occasion. I gave Anne a pretty blue and silver bracelet as a present and also got in for the dinner a bottle of 2017 St. Henri Shiraz, a premium Penfolds product.  I noticed that a wine guru said it goes well with lamb. So I was amused that that was the main course I bought it for.

Below is the bracelet against the background of a dress that Anne thinks it goes with. She definitely likes it

Anne brought with her some very tasty Tasmanian oysters for the entree and I provided some duck pate.  We had a French stick for the bread.  

We had very leisurely entrees sitting on my verandah, which is always a very pleasant location.  We sat there through twilight.  I opened the St. Henri as soon as we sat down.

Then for the main course we moved indoors to my dining table.  It was a candle-lit dinner from that point on.  I normally just have a set of three candle holders for that purpose but on this occasion we supplemented them with the fancy kerosene lamp that Anne had given me for Christmas.  So we had plenty of light. I turned off all the electric lights as soon as we sat down.

I also got out my best dishes and my best goblets

For the main course I got in some French cutlets, as I usually do for special dinners with Anne.  They are our favourite dinner.  

They were large and juicy and Anne cooked them to perfection.  I provided a good salad including avocado, Feta cheese, asparagus etc.  So we ate well.

After dinner we adjourned to my room to lie down and listen to music, mostly Mozart.  It made a very relaxed finale to the night.  And we did have some good birthday kisses.

I was a bit down in the dumps when Anne came over at about 5:30pm but I was in good cheer by the time she left -- at about 9pm.  I had hoped she would stay the night but she had family matters to attend to on Saturday morning.

Dinner with George P.

Last night, Sunday, George came to my place bearing dinner. It was a goat stew.  (actually Caldereta, a Philippine dish comprised of goat pieces in a stew).  His wife is a Filipina but George cooked it himself. The stew had the bones left in, as that boosts the flavour, so I had to be careful when I ate it.  It was very tasty.

I have known George for around 30 years and have always liked him.  I used to invite him to all dinners I was putting on.  Lately, however, I have had to cut back on all group dinners due to the deterioration in my hearing.  I can hear others well enough in a 1 to 1 situation in a quiet place but if there is a group of us and noise in the background I miss most of what is being said. George is the same.  So to keep in touch we arranged for him to bring over a dinner to have on the verandah at my place.  Those who know it know what a pleasant place for a dinner my verandah makes.  Best of all it is quiet there.

So George and I had lots of chats.  George has been to the Philippines a couple of times so knows a bit about it. He regaled me with stories about how violent life over there is. Life is cheap there. It sounds a lot like Chicago. No wonder so many young Filipinas emigrate.  

The Republic of the Philippines supplies wealthy English-speaking countries with large numbers of nurses, maids and wives to older men. In addition to their native Tagalog, most Filipinas know a fair bit of English. They learn it at school and English is widely used there. So that helps the transition to places like Australia and the USA. Pity the many who go to Saudi Arabia, though. Devout Catholics and bigoted Muslims make a very unhappy combination: "Every year, an unknown number of Filipinos in Saudi Arabia are victims of sexual abuses, maltreatment, unpaid salaries, and other labor malpractices"

In a fortnight's time George and I will have another dinner with me cooking.  I cook a few things that usually turn out well

Zoladex

A busy day.  I went to my local Indian doctor to finish off getting my right ear cleaned out.  I had been putting drops in it to prepare the way. And this time she managed to clear the ear right out, which was a relief.  It certainly helps my hearing

And then I got her to do my first injection of Zoladex.  It is an anti-androgen medication to control my prostate cancer. One injection lasts 3 months. I was previously on monthly injections so I am glad to be past that

One effect of anti-androgens is that it saps your energy -- and my energies are very low.  I experienced that same day.  I had arranged that I would cook dinner that night for Jenny and me.  I cooked spag bol, something I have cooked many times over the years. And I did manage to cook it this time. But it was a struggle. For someone who can barely stand up, cooking was a challenge.  But when Jenny arrived at 6:15 both the pasta and the meat were cooked and ready.  Jenny however offered to do a few finishing touches and serve the dinner up -- an offer I gladly accepted

And the dinner turned out quite well.  The $2 bottle of sauce from Woolworths that I used must have been a good one.

We would normally have spent Monday evening at Nandos -- with Ken and George -- but I have cancelled those meetings on account of my poor hearing.  I just could not follow the conversations at those dinners. So it has a sort of fitness that I did instead  cook a dinner at home on the first day of the revised arrangements.  Jenny has a loud clear voice so I can usually understand her.

Mostly good news

I got two lots of findings today -- from a PET scan and a blood test. The best finding was no more cancers in my head and neck area.  That is where the big problems were previously.  So the 12 exposures of radiation therapy that I had would seem to have wiped out any stray cancerous cells left over from previous treatments there.

My other cancers had not advanced but a small new cancer was detected in my chest.  

So that sets me up well for the Lumina treatment, where they inject stuff into you that kills all cancers in your body. It's hugely expensive but will be great if it works.

I also got some blood test results which found that most of my functions were ok.  The exception was iron levels and vitamin b12.  So I will be going onto supplements to bring up levels of those.

But the best news of all is that the PET scan people at one stage weighed me.  And I am down to 105 KG.  At my heaviest I was 123 KG.  I am not sure what I have to thank for this miracle but I have lost a lot of my appetite in recent times.  Dinners that I once would have scoffed down, I now cannot finish

And my waistline has of course also reduced.  So I got out some of my old shirts that I had grown out of and I can now wear them again. Fun!

A new year

I am sort of surprised to find myself in a new year.  2020 had an air of finality to it but it ended surprisingly quickly. It was an eventful year for me with lots of interesting experiences but I am hoping for a less interesting life this year.

Jenny and I ushered in the year with minimal fuss. We had some excellent takeaway Indian curries from Spice Avenue at Stones Corner for dinner -- chicken Jalfrezi plus a really excellent Lamb Korma. We finished the dinner with plum pudding and cream. So we ate well.

About 11:30 I made Jenny and myself Bloody Marys.  And they really did look bloody.  The tomato juice must have been a bit concentrated.  We had them on my verandah, where there is always the touch of a breeze, so it was a pleasant place to welcome the new year in.

There was not much to welcome the year in, no fireworks and only a bit of distant cheering. But we toasted it anyway.

Jenny stayed overnight.

Boxing Day

As it was a Saturday, Anne came over for our customary Saturday breakfast together. We first exchanged Christmas presents. She gave me a fancy kerosene lamp that I really like and I gave her a variety of things, mostly edible



Our usual breakfast haunt was closed so we went to the Gold Leaf at Kangaroo Pt., where I also sometimes go. Our tiny Vietnamese hostess greeted us with great enthusiasm as she usually does.  She is a big personality in a small body.

I had my usual hamburger with cheese and Anne just had poached eggs on toast.  She said they do poached eggs better than she can do them.  She also praised the coffee there as she usually does.  We arrived a bit after 9am but were the only customers there so we got our meals quite promptly.

After breakfast we went back to my place to view an operetta  on DVD.  It was Das Land des Lächelns set first in Vienna and then in China.  Both the acting and the singing were superb.  

My review of the show here

The acting really got you into the story.  Even though the operetta was by Lehar, one of the great operetta composers, it was unusual for an operetta in that not everyone ended up living happily ever after.  The two Chinese figures ended up deeply in love with partners whom they could not have, which was convincingly portrayed as sad and tragic.

It certainly got though to me as it did remind me of my own situation -- in love with Anne but  not having her as a full-time partner.  So I got a bit upset at the end of the show.  Since I do see Anne for quite congenial meetings once a week, however, I am not really badly off.  Getting upset about not having someone when she was sitting beside me was a bit silly.  I did at any event tell her that Dein ist mein ganzes Herz, the theme song of the show

Then that night both Joe and Jenny came over for Boxing day night, when we did our best to eat up the Christmas leftovers.  I was very happy with a ham and mustard toasted sandwich.  As I always do, I shouted a small ham on the bone for Christmas so that is as good as ham gets.  Joe and I had a good chat.

Christmas 2020

As we have done for many years Jenny and I got together for Christmas dinner.  Anne always has dinner with her children.

Jenny, Joe and I started out on Christmas eve with a dinner of nibblies from the food prepared for the next day. Joe went home to his place afterwards

Joe rejoined us for breakfast on Christmas day. Jenny made me some porridge and we also had some strawberry and rhubarb jam from France on toast.

Then at 1pm on Christmas day we added Vladimir to our gathering.  Vlad is from Ukraine  and has no family here so we were glad to invite him to a family occasion.  Though it is not really his Christmas as he was brought up Orthodox.  He fitted in well with the rest of us. He is one of my tenants from downstairs. He is very bright and very good-natured

Jenny  provided a great range of food, of which the main element was sliced ham and sliced turkey.  A cold lunch seemed most appropriate in the middle of a Brisbane summer.

Then at 7pm that night Jenny and I dined on leftover ham and turkey on toast with mustard

The much reduced family. So many trapped overseas

Joe and Vlad

Note our Christmas plates. They are actually Italian plates -- Importata dal Italia -- in the Italian flag colours of red and olive green. But the colours suited Christmas too. Note also that Ganesha was present to supervise the occasion. Jenny garlanded him appropriately

The end of a transition

At the beginning of this year I was entirely happy with my relationships. I had an old friend and ex-wife whom I loved in an understated way (Jenny) and a girlfriend (Anne) with whom I was in love.  And both relationships were of long standing

But that was disrupted when Anne started a close relationship with G..  So I was no longer first priority in her life.  I was greatly upset by the change.

I decided that I needed to get a new girlfriend.  Given my poor level of strength and fitness, however, that did not have a good prospect of success.  

Despite that I got close to my goal a couple of times. A couple of nice ladies did take a serious interest in me. But it was not close enough. Forbidding difficuties arose.

Nonetheless I continued trying. While I was trying however I leant more and more heavily on Jenny for my social life. Whatever I asked of her she gladly did.  In particular, I spent more and more evenings having dinner at her place.

It eventually came about that she was cooking me dinner 6 nights a week.  So it finally dawned on me that I didn't need a new girlfriend after all.  I had support from Jenny that was a considerable fraction of the support she gave me when we were married. She cheerfully revived major parts of our marriage. So that relationship was way better than what I could have hoped from any new girlfriend.  So I abandoned my search for a new girlfriend some time ago

Meanwhile, Anne had never ceased spending some time with me, even though she was by then largely shacked up with G..  To continue to see me every week for meals despite a strong new relationship was of course a testimony to how strong the bond between us had been all along.

So I am now in a sense where I began. The same two ladies who were in my life at the beginning of the year are also the ones in my life towards the end of the year.  The balance between them has however changed.  I am completely happy and at ease with my semi-revived marriage and also delighted to see Anne one a week.  I have transitioned from one happy state to another.  I have every reason to believe that that will continue

Do I need a new car?

I don't but I can drive a lot further than I can walk so my car is an issue.  My 16-year old Toyota Echo goes as well as ever and has always been perfect for me.  But in my declining years there is a small problem with it: My feet tend to slip off the pedals at times.  That is of course dangerous so I deal with it by keeping a good distance away from the car in front of me.  That has worked so far.

Recently, however, I met a bloke who loves old Toyota Echos.  He too thinks Echos are pretty perfect.  He almost salivated when I told him that my Echo has only a bit over 100,000k on the clock.  He desperately wants to buy it off me and has offered $3,000 for it.  A dealer would give me $500.

So that is rather tempting.  My Echo would go to a good home and I would have $3,000 towards buying a new car.  And the new car could be an AUTOMATIC, which would cut back my pedal use and should therefore be safer.  So after 60 years of driving stick-shift cars I would join the softies who drive automatics

So I looked into that.  Because my existing car is so good for my purposes, I could not justify spending a lot of money on a new car.  Just another cheap small car would fill the bill.  So I went for a test-drive in an MG3.  MGs these days are made in China but a lot of British design skill has been put into them and I do like the look of the result.  

And as a cheap car it lacks a lot of the frills you find these days on dearer cars.  After 60 years of having only a speedo and a fuel gauge in front of me I am dubious of my need for anything else.  But I decided that the cruise control, rear camera etc could be useful so the low level of equipment actually suited me

But it all came to naught.  I went for a test drive and found that the seat was not very comfortable.  With my elderly back, I need an ergonomically designed seat with good mid-back support.  And to get that I would need to go to a much more fancy model. So no deal.

EPILOGUE: In putting up this post I had some hope of helpful suggestions. I got two. Joe said I should buy an automatic Toyota secondhand. As we have both had exemplary service out of Toyotas bought secondhand that seemed no problem

The second suggestion was Jenny's. She said I might be safer driving in slippers. I got out an old pair of slippers and she was right. End of problem at zero cost!

Surviving well

My vigour and fitness took a nosedive this week.  I no longer have any energy for almost anything.  What I mostly want to do is lie down.  

Dinner with Joe

Joe and I have been trying to find a time when we can have a relaxed time together. I see him some mornings on his way to work but his head is too full of his very complex work for him to relax much at that time.  Our latest arrangements are for us to get together after his work on Wednesday for a dinner of some sort. That does seem to be working well.  Today we went to a Chinese restaurant at Stones corner which was quite passable

After dinner we sat around at home chatting for quite a while.  We had one of our rare political disagreements and that rather upset Joe. We are both Right-wing but no two people ever have exactly the same political views. He left without the matter being resolved

EPILOGUE

Joe arrived at my place about 7:30 the next morning with the hope of resolving our disagreement.  We didn't really come to an agreement on the matter but we did agree to disagree in an amicable manner so we ended up on better terms than ever.  He went home at about 10am to catch up on his sleep

An anniversary

I took Jenny to my favourite brekkie place this morning for our 35th wedding anniversary.  Still being on good terms after all that time is rather notable.

She ordered a Spanish omelette which she ate with enthusiasm.  I ordered a Viet dish -- honey pork.  I bought her yellow roses for the occasion.

I shaved and wore my best shirt. 

The Bollywood is no more

It was the family favourite Indian restaurant.  But it lives on in the same place under a new name and under new proprietors

Joe and I went to dinner there last night and we didn't notice anything different, though I think the food was a little dearer. Though $37.50 to feed two of us was still very moderate.  I had the Jalfreezi chicken, which was excellent.

As usual, it was very lightly patronized. It is now called the "Spice Avenue".  They are open until 10pm and are on ph. 3847 6755

Snake!

I walked out my bedroom door this afternoon to find myself only a couple of feet away from a large and colourful snake. He was black with yellow spots.  Quite attractive.  He was sitting on my desk unmoving so I felt for a moment that it must be a plastic snake. I soon guessed however that it was a python.  I had one here before a few years ago.  He was a couple of metres long.  

Migrants are often nervous of Australia's wildlife so to hear that you can suddenly have a large snake on your desk would freak them.

I called some snake catchers and they came quite promptly -- after about half an hour. They bagged him in minutes with no trouble. Their fee of $120 seemed reasonable for a Sunday callout.  I don't now where they took him.  To a Chinese restaurant maybe

Changes

Yesterday Anne and I went in to Toyota and put a deposit on a Prado.  So that will progress when they get a new shipment of Prados in the New Year.  She will probably garage the Prado at her place most of the time. I really have no use for it.  My Echo is already perfect for me.  But the Prado will be available to both our families if and when they have a use for it

The new arrangements we have entered into reflect the fact that I now spend most evenings with Jenny.  Anne and I no longer have any regular meetings for dinner.  Only our Saturday mornings remain a fixture

But our Saturday morning this morning was extremely good, with lots of laughs and jollity.  We really have a great talent for good times together.  We breakfasted at our usual place. Anne had Rosti. After breakfast we went to Vinnies and Anne came away with a very good pot for use in the caravan kitchen.  After that we went back to my place and watched videos of classical music.  She left about 11:30

Happiness!

After 15 years together, it was always likely that Anne and I would not be at odds for long.  And so it has proved to be.  We have just had a big pow-wow and have arrived at conclusions that suit both of us well. We both make one another very happy again. As Jenny is the lady in my life these days, Anne and I will not be attempting to revive our old arrangements but we will be reviving one thing that we have always particularly enjoyed:  We will be having Saturday morning breakfasts together again.

An issue that had arisen between us concerned my idea of buying a Toyota Prado solely to tow the large caravan that Anne and George jointly own. For various reasons I had become unhappy with that idea. So we solved that issue in a matter of minutes by way of a good old British compromise.  The purchase of a Prado will go ahead with Anne and me each paying half.  Anne volunteered the remark that that sounded fairer and I of course agreed

I think I have now completed the transition to a new life pattern after the time early this year when my old life with Anne came to an end. I think we have now arrived at realisic new arrangements that should be stable, unstressful and lasting. We have an amazing capacity to make one-another happy and that has survived.

After our big reconciliation, we went and had lunch together -- at our usual cafe -- which was as jolly and affectionate as ever.

As a memento of our big day and its happy conclusion, I gave Anne a classic silver butter dish (with glass insert).  She was with me when I bought it recently so it really was a memento

A breakup

Much to my surprise, on Tuesday 10th, Anne sent me an email cancelling our weekly dinners.  Later that day, however we exchanged messages of mutual esteem so the split was peaceful, which I value.

So in recent weeks I have lost 3 lady friends:  JH, JD and Anne, which sounds distinctly careless

As the split with Anne was unexpected, the effect on my mood was potentially adverse so Joe stayed overnight at my place to give me company.  We had a good night together, mainly talking and watching classical music videos, so that immediately lifted my spirits and I have been in good spirits since

So Anne dines most nights with her obliging partner, George Eakins, and I dine most nights with my obliging ex-wife Jenny.  Jenny is, as ever, an excellent cook so I get dinners derived from an international range of cuisines.  George is a Seventh Day Adventist so Anne cooks him vegetarian dinners.

Jenny and I have in recent days been on a couple of outings in her new and well-appointed Hyundai car.  We dropped in on a couple of Op-shops along the way and I found two shirts that suited me well.  Jenny bought more cookbooks for her collection.

On Saturday night she is cooking and bringing over to me some Larb Moo, a Thai dish we both like.  I normally go over to her place for dinner, a 15 minute drive away.

A recent picture of Jenny

A recent picture of Anne

A recent picture of me

Anne is 75, I am 77, Jenny is 68 and George says he is 75, though he looks more like 60 to me

I wish I could say goodbye as gracefully as the pair below do

EPILOGUE

The Larb moo was excellent!

My new life

A new pattern of living

When I started out looking for a new girlfriend towards the beginning of this year, I was embarking on an unlikely enterprise. My state of health and fitness is so poor that it would need an exceptionally kind lady to take me on.

And after talking to a lot of ladies I have concluded that I have no chance.  So I am giving up the quest.  Unless I attract the interest of a another near-invalid, I am going to have to be happy with the friendships I already have

Fortunately, I am rather well off in that regard. Anne has never stopped seeing me one evening a week and I dine with Jenny five nights a week.  I also see Joe five mornings a week.

And the occasions for all such meetings have now become routine -- always on the same nights and mornings.  As I like routine that suits me very well.

As I am still in love with Anne, seeing her even for one night and morning is very rewarding. 

Then there is Jenny.  I have known Jenny for around 35 years.  During the first ten of those years we were married. Ending the marriage did not end the friendship, however. We have remained very supportive of one another ever since. One illustration of our continued feelings for one another is that I gave her a car during our marriage but also gave her a car around ten years ago -- long after our marriage and while Anne and I were still an item

Dining most nights together is a revival of something that husbands and wives are accustomed to do so doing that again is something familiar to Jenny and me.  I have asked her how she feels about continuing with that right through to my end in a few years' time.  She said that she is happy with that

In summary,  I have a steady refuge of affection and support in Jenny and a great highpoint in my week of my evening with Anne

So I think my life from now on will be very settled, which I like.  No more adventures.